Tag: women and tobacco

Spouse’s Nagging in Tobacco Cessation (Quitting Smoking and Chewing Tobacco)

Spouse Nagging – Do’s & Don’ts

Spouse has a very important role to play for tobacco cessation (quitting smoking or tobacco chewing). Frustration and non compliance by a husband gives rise to nagging as means to vent out the current irritation. Nagging by spouse may be due to many reasons, I am restricted here to tobacco use only.

What is Nagging

Annoy or irritate (a person) with persistent fault finding or continuous urging. Nagging although is meant for a good intention but may just have an opposite affect. Because of frustration and suffering at some point of time this would show up and become a part of the relationship. This may have a negative affect and the partner may become more adamant.

A LADY SUFFERS FOR NO MISTAKE OF HERS JUST BECAUSE OF HUSBAND’S TOBACCO USE!

Response/reactions of husbands to nagging:

  1. IGNORE – least bothered; all bickering just falls on a deaf ear
  2. REACT – Quarrelling just becomes part of life
  3. AVOID – spends more time with similar friends outside house
  4. LIE – makes the partner believe that he has quit
  5. ATTEMPT – tries to quit, at some point of time
  6. LOW SELF ESTEEM – previous failed attempts makes him loose confidence in himself, cannot see eye to eye with his spouse and this may reflect in his work
  7. DEPRESSION – severe inappropriate reactions

What to do?

A constant tussle sets in wife constantly urging him to quit and the husband is  not able to find a solution. Majority of self-quit attempts fails!

Ways to Avoid Being a Nag

  • Don’t blame.
  • Don’t demean.
  • Don’t attack.
  • Don’t criticize.
  • Don’t manipulate.
  • Avoid making your spouse feel stupid.
  • Don’t give in to your frustration and do your spouse’s chores. Your mate needs to learn to deal with the logical consequences of being messy.

Instead of Nagging, Try Positive Approaches

  • Share your feelings.
  • Stick to the issue at hand.
  • Keep your statements brief so they don’t turn into long lectures.
  • Don’t make ultimatums.
  • Avoid using the phrases, “You always…” and “You never…” and “You should…”
  • Consider saying “would you” or “will you” rather than “could you” or “can you”. There’s a subtle difference in the way the request will be heard by your spouse.

TAKE ACTION

Tobacco is a disease. It needs treatment and a specialist care. One needs to approach the person with empathy. Empower yourself with the knowledge about tobacco addiction and cure. Download the ICANCARE ANDROID APP.

Help is available. Tobacco as a disease and needs intensive treatment. ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Centres and Tobacco Wellness Online program are a call away. ICanCaRe team of Certified tobacco Cessation Specialists and Quit Coaches work with you to make your journey smooth, easy, interesting and achievable.

The ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Program incorporates evidence protocol based digitalized intervention program which is very scientific in its approach, data driven and medically validated and at the same time gives 92% success rate.

ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Centres with its India’s first digital protocol based assessment process guide intervention as per requirements.

Do visit the ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Centres or register online by visiting our page or call ICanCaRe quitline 011-430-77695 for assistance.

Be Careful Before Marrying of Your Daughter to A Tobacco User – Parent’s Responsibilities

Choose the Right Groom for Your Daughter – A Non-Smoker/Tobacco Consumer

Tobacco is commonly used in India. While choosing a groom, no one really bothers to ask about tobacco use. Tobacco use till now is still an acceptable social norm.

I have a question – “Would you marry your daughter to a person who is diseased or likely to have a disease?” 

  • “Arre Shadi ke baadh ladka tambaku chhod dega” (boy would quit tobacco after marriage) – why after marriage, let him quit for 6 months and then propose.
  • “Bahu tambaku chudwa degi” (daughter in law would make him quit tobacco) – 

Wow, the newlywed daughter-in-law is a demi-goddess and she is expected to do everything including tobacco cessation, that the mother, father, brother or sister could not do!

Why tobacco cessation after marriage? Why not before it?

If anyone in the family is taking tobacco, the entire family is ruined.

This reminds me of one of my patients – Rita(name changed) and Rohan(name changed). Rohan had cancer of the mouth, and he had come to see me along with Rita and her mother. Rita and Rohan were teachers in a primary school. They fell in love and got married in spite of Rohan’s tobacco use (which he promised to leave as soon as they got married). They started their married life without him being able to quit tobacco. Sadly he continued and developed cancer within one year. On one hand, Rita was pregnant and was planning of delivering their baby boy while on the other Rohan was diagnosed with oral cancer. His chemotherapy and surgeries coincided with the baby’s birth. Sadly, throughout the treatment, no family member of Rohan ever came to see me.

Well, friends, tobacco is a disease. By all means, the tobacco user would have some or the other complication due to tobacco use may it be a heart attack, respiratory problem, dental and oral problem, cancer stroke, etc. (200 listed diseases to count from). Tobacco is a disease and it has the highest addictive factor in the World. Had it been so easy to quit, people would have quit tobacco by now.

Tobacco as a disease needs treatment like any other chronic disease with intervention, medications, and follow-up.

LET YOUR DAUGHTER NOT SUFFER BECAUSE OF YOUR IGNORANCE! BE CAREFUL WHILE CHOOSING THE GROOM, DO ASK ABOUT THE TOBACCO HISTORY AND IF REQUIRED DO A COTININE TEST TO KNOW.

How to IDENTIFY A PERSON USING TOBACCO WITHOUT ASKING –  

There are tell-tale signs of tobacco use whether smoking or chewing. (Caution: the signs may not be confirmatory!)

  • Stains on teeth and /or lips
  • Bad foul smelly breaths
  • Constant coughing
  • Stains on nail beds, fingers
  • Foul smelly hair and cloths

Some behavioral aspects that one needs to notice:

  • Chewing gums – constant use
  • Frequently disappearing
  • Going for a walk avoiding you
  • Friend circle

Laboratory and Qualitative assessment

  • Laboratory tests are available for confirmation of tobacco use
  • Qualitative assessment of present health assessment

Help is available. Tobacco as a disease needs treatment. ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Centres and Tobacco Wellness program – Online are a call away. The ICanCaRe team of Certified tobacco Cessation Specialists and Quit Coaches work with you to make your journey smooth, easy, interesting, and achievable.

The ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Program incorporates an evidence protocol-based digitalized intervention program which is fully scientific, medically validated and has a 92% success rate.

ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Centres with India’s first digital protocol-based assessment process guide intervention as per requirements.

Do visit the ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Centres or register online by visiting our page or call ICanCaRe quitline 011-43077695.

Women Empowerment – Spouse’s Rights Towards Tobacco Use by Partner

There is evidently a very confusing  situation when a wife / spouse discovers that her counterpart is a tobacco user which she mentally does not accept as a habit in the normal go of life after marriage. In India, most of the marriages, whether arranged or loved, experience a lot of ambiguity about the habits and behaviors of their partners. In such cases the wife is entitled to exercise her rights and legal options to protect her body (health), person and self respect. Wife can take the redressal/ aids available and/ or counselling and treatment options so that her life becomes normal and humane.

Let’s take a look at the protections provided under the Fundamental rights that are enshrined in Part III (Articles 12 to 35) of the Constitution of India.

  1. Right to equality (Articles. 14-18): includes equality before the law, the prohibition of discrimination on grounds of religion, race, caste, gender or place of birth, equality of opportunity in matters of employment, the abolition of untouchability and abolition of titles.

Article 14, backs women and their rights in the country. It ensures women equality and equal protection of the laws. Article 15(3) empowers the state to take affirmative action in favour of a daughter-in-law:

  1. The Hindu Adoptions and Maintenance Act, 1956, entitles wives a basic right to reside in the matrimonial/ marital household.
  2. A married woman has the right to have a committed relationship: that is based on affirmative honesty in relationship and understanding.
  3. A wife has the legal authority to live with proper dignity and self-respect with her in-laws: hence a wife can not be treated with indifference and inhumane way or against her will to object perceivable harm to her body, property or repute/ emotion.

2. Right to Freedom (Articles. 19-22): includes freedom of speech and expression, assembly, association or union or cooperatives, movement, residence, and right to practice any profession or occupation.

3. Right to Constitutional Remedies (Articles. 32-35): is present for enforcement of fundamental rights.

When it is presumably found that the spouse or his family members defend the wrong action of tobacco abuse, the wife has the options to exercise her access to legal provisions that can be compounded as a recourse to the problem of correcting a tobacco user husband: 

as per  the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act (PWDVA), instituted in 2005, is a legislation aimed at protecting women from violence in domestic relationships.

  1. The definition of domestic violence is well written and wide-ranging and holistic. It covers, mental as well as physical abuse, and also threats to do the same. Any form of harassment, coercion, harm to health, safety, limb or well-being is covered. Additionally, there are specific definitions for the following:

Physical abuse: Defined as act or conduct that is of such a nature as to cause bodily pain, harm, or danger to life, limb or health or impair the health or development of the aggrieved person’.

The definition of “aggrieved person” includes any woman who is or has been in a domestic relationship with the respondent and who alleges to have been subjected to domestic violence by them. (See Section 2(a) of the PWDVA)

The definition of “respondent” includes any adult male who has been or is in a domestic relationship with the aggrieved woman, and against whom the woman has sought a relief or any male or female relative of the husband or male partner of a married woman or a woman in a relationship in the nature of marriage.

The definition of “domestic relationship” is any relationship 2 persons have lived together in a shared household and these people are:

  • related by consanguinity (blood relations)
  • related by marriage.
  • Though a relationship in the nature of marriage (which would include live-in relationships)
  • Through adoption
  • Are family members living in a joint family.

The definition of “child” is any person below the age of eighteen years, and also includes foster, adopted, or step child.

Further India is a leading member state with WHO FCTC (Framework Convention on Tobacco Control) and in our country, Children and wife is protected under the  Cigarettes and Other Tobacco Products (Prohibition of Advertisement and Regulation of Trade and Commerce, Production, Supply and Distribution) Act/ COTPA 2003, the Act that was enacted by the Parliament to give effect to the Resolution passed by the 39th World Health Assembly, urging the member states to implement measures to provide non-smokers protection from involuntary exposure to tobacco smoke.

The most effective way to address such cases is social counselling through family participation and adoption of all available protocol for psychological and physiological treatment of the patient.

ICanCaRe is the only organization in the world to have formulated 3600 approach for social and medical remediation of tobacco addiction, disease and cessation through medical, social and legal framework implementation under expert supervision and advice through online and personal consultancy and support.