Tag: women

Spouse’s Role in Tobacco Cessation

SPOUSE’S ROLE IN TOBACCO CESSATION
Your Spouse is Your World!

Spouse has a very important role to play for tobacco cessation. Here I am only addressing the wife! There would be conflicts I have patients where the husband came to know about his wife’s habit post marriage. Traditionally Indians do not ask about the tobacco habits and even if they do the husbands would usually lie, or say “I will Quit-I promise”. A promise which is hard to keep.

Sufferings of an Indian Lady whose husband smokes –

  • Have to manage with foul smelling husband
  • Keep cleaning the washrooms, bedrooms etc.
  • Cleaning the stains on his clothes (In India it is wife’s job!)
  • Infertility and dis-balanced sexual life
  • Finance and economic dis balance
  • Caretaker when the husband who is often ill because of his tobacco habit
  • Taking care of family when husband is no more or crippled because of illness
  • Passive smoking or tobacco chewing affects
    • Suffer illness (hypertension, COPD, Wrinkling of skin etc)
    • Infective disease – Tuberculosis
    • Complicated diseases like cancer, cardiac, stroke
  • The Future generation may be crippled

A LADY SUFFERS FOR NO MISTAKE OF HERS

Different type of wives when it comes to the tobacco habit of their husband

  1. Helpless and suffering – the Indian traditional wives. She is aware of the harms of tobacco but cannot get the husband to understand or quit.
  2. Ignorant and accepts as it is. Not aware of the harms of tobacco as because it has been used traditionally in her family too
  3. Partners – starts using tobacco along with him.
  4. Firm – She is aware of the harms and firm with her husband and pushes him to rectify his habit
  5. Quarreling – keeps scolding  but does nothing about his tobacco use
  6. Helping – learns the various methods of quitting and takes the husband to doctors, help him quit

NAGGING – because of frustration and suffering at some point of time this would show up and become a part of the relationship. This may have a negative affect and the husband may become more adamant.

TAKE ACTION

A newly wed wife has to take immediate action once she comes to know about the spouse’s disease. If it is accepted in the beginning, but slowly it becomes a chronic issue and gets more difficult to treat as time passes.

The challenge is getting support, tobacco use is so rampant and accepted in the society that she does not get family support. But being firm and knowledgeable helps.

How to know:

There are tell-tale signs of tobacco use whether smoking or chewing

  • Stains on teeth and /or lips
  • Bad foul smelly breaths
  • Constant coughing
  • Stains on nail beds, fingers
  • Foul smelly hairs and cloths

Some behavioral aspects that one needs to notice

  • Chewing gums – constant use
  • Frequently disappearing
  • Going for a walk avoiding you
  • Friend circle

Laboratory and Qualitative assessment

  • Laboratory tests are available for confirmation of tobacco use (Cotinine Test)
  • Qualitative assessment of present health assessment

It is important that one should know and decide before tying the knot. Tobacco is a disease and you do not want to be wedded to a diseased person. Either he takes treatment and is cured for at least 6 months or he is not the right choice for you.

Help is available. Tobacco as a disease needs intensive treatment. ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Centers and Online Tobacco Wellness program are just a call away. ICanCaRe team of Certified tobacco Cessation Specialists and Quit Coaches work with you to make your journey smooth, easy, interesting and achievable.

The ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Program incorporates evidence-based protocol digitalized intervention program which is both medically validated and scientific in its nature. It is data driven and has given a success rate of 92%.

ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Centres with its India’s first digital protocol-based assessment process guide intervention as per requirements.

Do visit the ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Centres or register online by visiting our page or call ICanCaRe quit line 011-430-77695.

Spouse’s Nagging in Tobacco Cessation (Quitting Smoking and Chewing Tobacco)

Spouse Nagging – Do’s & Don’ts

Spouse has a very important role to play for tobacco cessation (quitting smoking or tobacco chewing). Frustration and non compliance by a husband gives rise to nagging as means to vent out the current irritation. Nagging by spouse may be due to many reasons, I am restricted here to tobacco use only.

What is Nagging

Annoy or irritate (a person) with persistent fault finding or continuous urging. Nagging although is meant for a good intention but may just have an opposite affect. Because of frustration and suffering at some point of time this would show up and become a part of the relationship. This may have a negative affect and the partner may become more adamant.

A LADY SUFFERS FOR NO MISTAKE OF HERS JUST BECAUSE OF HUSBAND’S TOBACCO USE!

Response/reactions of husbands to nagging:

  1. IGNORE – least bothered; all bickering just falls on a deaf ear
  2. REACT – Quarrelling just becomes part of life
  3. AVOID – spends more time with similar friends outside house
  4. LIE – makes the partner believe that he has quit
  5. ATTEMPT – tries to quit, at some point of time
  6. LOW SELF ESTEEM – previous failed attempts makes him loose confidence in himself, cannot see eye to eye with his spouse and this may reflect in his work
  7. DEPRESSION – severe inappropriate reactions

What to do?

A constant tussle sets in wife constantly urging him to quit and the husband is  not able to find a solution. Majority of self-quit attempts fails!

Ways to Avoid Being a Nag

  • Don’t blame.
  • Don’t demean.
  • Don’t attack.
  • Don’t criticize.
  • Don’t manipulate.
  • Avoid making your spouse feel stupid.
  • Don’t give in to your frustration and do your spouse’s chores. Your mate needs to learn to deal with the logical consequences of being messy.

Instead of Nagging, Try Positive Approaches

  • Share your feelings.
  • Stick to the issue at hand.
  • Keep your statements brief so they don’t turn into long lectures.
  • Don’t make ultimatums.
  • Avoid using the phrases, “You always…” and “You never…” and “You should…”
  • Consider saying “would you” or “will you” rather than “could you” or “can you”. There’s a subtle difference in the way the request will be heard by your spouse.

TAKE ACTION

Tobacco is a disease. It needs treatment and a specialist care. One needs to approach the person with empathy. Empower yourself with the knowledge about tobacco addiction and cure. Download the ICANCARE ANDROID APP.

Help is available. Tobacco as a disease and needs intensive treatment. ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Centres and Tobacco Wellness Online program are a call away. ICanCaRe team of Certified tobacco Cessation Specialists and Quit Coaches work with you to make your journey smooth, easy, interesting and achievable.

The ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Program incorporates evidence protocol based digitalized intervention program which is very scientific in its approach, data driven and medically validated and at the same time gives 92% success rate.

ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Centres with its India’s first digital protocol based assessment process guide intervention as per requirements.

Do visit the ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Centres or register online by visiting our page or call ICanCaRe quitline 011-430-77695 for assistance.

Be Careful Before Marrying of Your Daughter to A Tobacco User – Parent’s Responsibilities

Choose the Right Groom for Your Daughter – A Non-Smoker/Tobacco Consumer

Tobacco is commonly used in India. While choosing a groom, no one really bothers to ask about tobacco use. Tobacco use till now is still an acceptable social norm.

I have a question – “Would you marry your daughter to a person who is diseased or likely to have a disease?” 

  • “Arre Shadi ke baadh ladka tambaku chhod dega” (boy would quit tobacco after marriage) – why after marriage, let him quit for 6 months and then propose.
  • “Bahu tambaku chudwa degi” (daughter in law would make him quit tobacco) – 

Wow, the newlywed daughter-in-law is a demi-goddess and she is expected to do everything including tobacco cessation, that the mother, father, brother or sister could not do!

Why tobacco cessation after marriage? Why not before it?

If anyone in the family is taking tobacco, the entire family is ruined.

This reminds me of one of my patients – Rita(name changed) and Rohan(name changed). Rohan had cancer of the mouth, and he had come to see me along with Rita and her mother. Rita and Rohan were teachers in a primary school. They fell in love and got married in spite of Rohan’s tobacco use (which he promised to leave as soon as they got married). They started their married life without him being able to quit tobacco. Sadly he continued and developed cancer within one year. On one hand, Rita was pregnant and was planning of delivering their baby boy while on the other Rohan was diagnosed with oral cancer. His chemotherapy and surgeries coincided with the baby’s birth. Sadly, throughout the treatment, no family member of Rohan ever came to see me.

Well, friends, tobacco is a disease. By all means, the tobacco user would have some or the other complication due to tobacco use may it be a heart attack, respiratory problem, dental and oral problem, cancer stroke, etc. (200 listed diseases to count from). Tobacco is a disease and it has the highest addictive factor in the World. Had it been so easy to quit, people would have quit tobacco by now.

Tobacco as a disease needs treatment like any other chronic disease with intervention, medications, and follow-up.

LET YOUR DAUGHTER NOT SUFFER BECAUSE OF YOUR IGNORANCE! BE CAREFUL WHILE CHOOSING THE GROOM, DO ASK ABOUT THE TOBACCO HISTORY AND IF REQUIRED DO A COTININE TEST TO KNOW.

How to IDENTIFY A PERSON USING TOBACCO WITHOUT ASKING –  

There are tell-tale signs of tobacco use whether smoking or chewing. (Caution: the signs may not be confirmatory!)

  • Stains on teeth and /or lips
  • Bad foul smelly breaths
  • Constant coughing
  • Stains on nail beds, fingers
  • Foul smelly hair and cloths

Some behavioral aspects that one needs to notice:

  • Chewing gums – constant use
  • Frequently disappearing
  • Going for a walk avoiding you
  • Friend circle

Laboratory and Qualitative assessment

  • Laboratory tests are available for confirmation of tobacco use
  • Qualitative assessment of present health assessment

Help is available. Tobacco as a disease needs treatment. ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Centres and Tobacco Wellness program – Online are a call away. The ICanCaRe team of Certified tobacco Cessation Specialists and Quit Coaches work with you to make your journey smooth, easy, interesting, and achievable.

The ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Program incorporates an evidence protocol-based digitalized intervention program which is fully scientific, medically validated and has a 92% success rate.

ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Centres with India’s first digital protocol-based assessment process guide intervention as per requirements.

Do visit the ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Centres or register online by visiting our page or call ICanCaRe quitline 011-43077695.