Spouse has a very important role to play for tobacco cessation (quitting smoking or tobacco chewing). Frustration and non compliance by a husband gives rise to nagging as means to vent out the current irritation. Nagging by spouse may be due to many reasons, I am restricted here to tobacco use only.
What is Nagging
Annoy or irritate (a person) with persistent fault finding or continuous urging. Nagging although is meant for a good intention but may just have an opposite affect. Because of frustration and suffering at some point of time this would show up and become a part of the relationship. This may have a negative affect and the partner may become more adamant.
A LADY SUFFERS FOR NO MISTAKE OF HERS JUST BECAUSE OF HUSBAND’S TOBACCO USE!
Response/reactions of husbands to nagging:
- IGNORE – least bothered; all bickering just falls on a deaf ear
- REACT – Quarrelling just becomes part of life
- AVOID – spends more time with similar friends outside house
- LIE – makes the partner believe that he has quit
- ATTEMPT – tries to quit, at some point of time
- LOW SELF ESTEEM – previous failed attempts makes him loose confidence in himself, cannot see eye to eye with his spouse and this may reflect in his work
- DEPRESSION – severe inappropriate reactions
What to do?
A constant tussle sets in wife constantly urging him to quit and the husband is not able to find a solution. Majority of self-quit attempts fails!
Ways to Avoid Being a Nag
- Don’t blame.
- Don’t demean.
- Don’t attack.
- Don’t criticize.
- Don’t manipulate.
- Avoid making your spouse feel stupid.
- Don’t give in to your frustration and do your spouse’s chores. Your mate needs to learn to deal with the logical consequences of being messy.
Instead of Nagging, Try Positive Approaches
- Share your feelings.
- Stick to the issue at hand.
- Keep your statements brief so they don’t turn into long lectures.
- Don’t make ultimatums.
- Avoid using the phrases, “You always…” and “You never…” and “You should…”
- Consider saying “would you” or “will you” rather than “could you” or “can you”. There’s a subtle difference in the way the request will be heard by your spouse.
TAKE ACTION
Tobacco is a disease. It needs treatment and a specialist care. One needs to approach the person with empathy. Empower yourself with the knowledge about tobacco addiction and cure. Download the ICANCARE ANDROID APP.
Help is available. Tobacco as a disease and needs intensive treatment. ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Centres and Tobacco Wellness Online program are a call away. ICanCaRe team of Certified tobacco Cessation Specialists and Quit Coaches work with you to make your journey smooth, easy, interesting and achievable.
The ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Program incorporates evidence protocol based digitalized intervention program which is very scientific in its approach, data driven and medically validated and at the same time gives 92% success rate.
ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Centres with its India’s first digital protocol based assessment process guide intervention as per requirements.
Do visit the ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Centres or register online by visiting our page or call ICanCaRe quitline 011-430-77695 for assistance.
This article gives a very positive message of advice.Good take home message.