Be Careful Before Marrying of Your Daughter to A Tobacco User – Parent’s Responsibilities

Choose the Right Groom for Your Daughter – A Non-Smoker/Tobacco Consumer

Tobacco is commonly used in India. While choosing a groom, no one really bothers to ask about tobacco use. Tobacco use till now is still an acceptable social norm.

I have a question – “Would you marry your daughter to a person who is diseased or likely to have a disease?” 

  • “Arre Shadi ke baadh ladka tambaku chhod dega” (boy would quit tobacco after marriage) – why after marriage, let him quit for 6 months and then propose.
  • “Bahu tambaku chudwa degi” (daughter in law would make him quit tobacco) – 

Wow, the newlywed daughter-in-law is a demi-goddess and she is expected to do everything including tobacco cessation, that the mother, father, brother or sister could not do!

Why tobacco cessation after marriage? Why not before it?

If anyone in the family is taking tobacco, the entire family is ruined.

This reminds me of one of my patients – Rita(name changed) and Rohan(name changed). Rohan had cancer of the mouth, and he had come to see me along with Rita and her mother. Rita and Rohan were teachers in a primary school. They fell in love and got married in spite of Rohan’s tobacco use (which he promised to leave as soon as they got married). They started their married life without him being able to quit tobacco. Sadly he continued and developed cancer within one year. On one hand, Rita was pregnant and was planning of delivering their baby boy while on the other Rohan was diagnosed with oral cancer. His chemotherapy and surgeries coincided with the baby’s birth. Sadly, throughout the treatment, no family member of Rohan ever came to see me.

Well, friends, tobacco is a disease. By all means, the tobacco user would have some or the other complication due to tobacco use may it be a heart attack, respiratory problem, dental and oral problem, cancer stroke, etc. (200 listed diseases to count from). Tobacco is a disease and it has the highest addictive factor in the World. Had it been so easy to quit, people would have quit tobacco by now.

Tobacco as a disease needs treatment like any other chronic disease with intervention, medications, and follow-up.

LET YOUR DAUGHTER NOT SUFFER BECAUSE OF YOUR IGNORANCE! BE CAREFUL WHILE CHOOSING THE GROOM, DO ASK ABOUT THE TOBACCO HISTORY AND IF REQUIRED DO A COTININE TEST TO KNOW.

How to IDENTIFY A PERSON USING TOBACCO WITHOUT ASKING –  

There are tell-tale signs of tobacco use whether smoking or chewing. (Caution: the signs may not be confirmatory!)

  • Stains on teeth and /or lips
  • Bad foul smelly breaths
  • Constant coughing
  • Stains on nail beds, fingers
  • Foul smelly hair and cloths

Some behavioral aspects that one needs to notice:

  • Chewing gums – constant use
  • Frequently disappearing
  • Going for a walk avoiding you
  • Friend circle

Laboratory and Qualitative assessment

  • Laboratory tests are available for confirmation of tobacco use
  • Qualitative assessment of present health assessment

Help is available. Tobacco as a disease needs treatment. ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Centres and Tobacco Wellness program – Online are a call away. The ICanCaRe team of Certified tobacco Cessation Specialists and Quit Coaches work with you to make your journey smooth, easy, interesting, and achievable.

The ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Program incorporates an evidence protocol-based digitalized intervention program which is fully scientific, medically validated and has a 92% success rate.

ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Centres with India’s first digital protocol-based assessment process guide intervention as per requirements.

Do visit the ICanCaRe Tobacco Wellness Centres or register online by visiting our page or call ICanCaRe quitline 011-43077695.

Published by

Dr. Pawan Gupta

Dr. Pawan Gupta is a trusted Senior Surgical Oncologist, social activist, and author, engaged in creating awareness and changing the way cancer is perceived in society. He is a renowned transformational speaker on cancer chronic diseases and lifestyle specifically tobacco. Thousands have benefitted from his workshops, seminars, camps, and training programs. He has been featured in Buzz Creator and on many channels on TV. He is the Founder of ICanCaRe, an Innovative enterprise for Cancer Care and Rehabilitation. Working extensively in Tobacco Cessation data-driven protocol-based intervention through a network of Specialists and experts on ICanCaRe APP, Virtual Clinics, and ICanCaRe National Quitline. National Convenor for Tobacco Cessation courses for the first time in India introduced under Gujarat University His populist campaigns “WIN OVER CANCER”, “SAVE the Youth – Win over tobacco”, “Chota Daana”, “Catch them Early”, and “My Hygiene My Responsibility” has gained him wide accolades. In his mission to win over cancer, he has a unique methodological approach to quitting tobacco. The book WIN OVER TOBACCO – MADE EASY is a step-by-step guide for tobacco addicts to overcome their cravings. The Book had more than 10000 Downloads within 30 Days of being made available. He received the prestigious ICD International Award in 2007, Vivekananda Sister Margarette Award 2017 and Delhi NGO leadership Award 2017, AIECS award 2018, Asia Africa Leadership in Social Innovation 2019, MICC Innovation Award 2019, Rashtriya Prabasi Odia Paribar Award 2019. Professionally he has conducted more than 11000 cancer surgeries and was a pioneer in establishing and modernizing surgical oncology in some of the major hospitals in Delhi NCR. He did his graduation and post-graduation from SCB Medical College, Cuttack. He enhanced his surgical skills M.Ch and Fellowship in Surgical Oncology from Gujarat Cancer Research Institute (GCRI), Ahmedabad. He has held several positions during his career in various hospitals. Dr. Pawan has published 30 papers in National and International journals and is actively involved in several research projects. He is an active member of the Telemedicine Society of India, India Association of Surgical Oncology, Association of Surgeons of India, and Foundation for Head and Neck Oncology. He is seen as a mentor of strayed souls, and a soothing balm to those tormented by cancer.

2 thoughts on “Be Careful Before Marrying of Your Daughter to A Tobacco User – Parent’s Responsibilities”

  1. Yes, Dr. Pawan’s effort in creating awareness of the possibility of quitting tobacco- deriving a training module for hand holding in quitting tobacco- is helping many- raising hope of getting rid of the menace in the early stage of damage- otherwise, family members of addicts were becoming sure of addict person dying of cancer and were not hopeful for them be able to quit before it is too late.

    this effort is praiseworthy apart from many accolades for the talents of Dr. Pawan.

  2. Good one Sir.
    How about daughter indulged in tobacco and other substances use. females are vulnerable for developing dependency and hazards of tobacco abuse compared to males. hazards of tobacco abuse do not discriminate Gender and socio-economic gradients. Thus it is important to sensitize role and responsibilities of bride and bride groom equally considering their social support.

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